FAQ - Sexual health
Can antibiotics have an effect on my ability to achieve an orgasm?
The science is not complete on this. Studies indicate that women are less likely to be affected by antibiotic treatments, while men might experience delayed ejaculation, and possibly even erectile dysfunction. A lot of medicine can have a negative impact on our sexuality. Thankfully, most medication treatments and their adverse effects are temporary.
In the meantime, you can add extra stimulation with arousal topical cream for the clitoris, such as “On” for example, and make sure to hydrate with a lubricant when having sex.
Anti-depressive medicine and your libido
It is a common known side-effect that most anti-depressive medicine take a toll on the libido, the ability to climax and the intensity of the orgasms.
The user may still experience desire, the quality may be different, and the common pattern of slow build up with a peak might be replaced with waves of excitement that never quite reaches a climax.
SNRI antidepressants (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors) are most known for this undesirable side-effect, while other antidepressants, such as Wellbutrin (bupropion), have been shown to cause fewer sexual dysfunction issues than SSRIs.
If you suspect your medication causes changes in your sexuality and libido, make notes of them, and observe them so you can talk to your health practicioner about it. There might be other options out there for you that are worth exploring.
You can also make the decision to quit taking the medication, and look for natural remedies that don’t interfere negatively with your sexuality. Cautuaba, for example, a bark with tonic properties that work on the nervous-system, has been succesfully used as a mild anti-depressant, as well as an aphrodisiac.
As scary as it is to come off the medical drugs prescribed to you by a doctor, it might be the best way to get in touch with yourself again, and trying to let your own body find balance. Getting support from a therapist, to reach to the root-cause of the depression is probably the best way to deal with the problem in the long run.
Endometriosis and sex
If you experience painful periods, pelvic pain and cramping before and into a menstrual period, pain during intercourse or excessive bleeding, you might suffer from endometriosis.
Endometriosis is a disease in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus. It can cause severe pain in the pelvis and make it more difficult to get pregnant. If you suspect something is wrong, go to see your gynacologist as soon as possible, and have a professional evaluation.
They will then be ably to guide you to the best way to recover, and give you guidelines to how to deal with this condition.
As in all cases of pain, your body is trying to tell you something. Never be forceful when it comes to sexual intercourse, respect your body’s limits. As long as there is no penetration, you can carry on with your love-life and have satisfying intimate realtionships, as well as plenty of great orgasms.
This will help relieve tension in the pelvic area, increase blood-flow and healing. Use of a dilator set, can help you maintain a vaginal passage as well as keeping your mind open about penetration. Again, very important never to force any motion if there is any pain and discomfort!
Vulvodynia and sex
What is vulvodynia? It is a condition where there is pain, a burning sensation and discomfort in the vulva, that can’t be linked to a specific cause.
It is a chronic condition, that can last for months or even years, and it is most common in young women. Sometimes it is so painful, that sex and even using a tampon is impossible.
The cause of vulvodynia is unknown, one theory is that the women suffering from this painful condition may have been born with more nerve endings around the area around and between their urethra and vagina, and if these nerves become damaged, this area becomes hyper-sensitive.
This damage can be triggered by sexual trauma, childbirth or sex without enough lubrication.
How to best treat vulvodynia? Rule out any other causes, such as echsema or mechanical irritation caused by friction. Apply a lot of lubricant. Sometimes it can be useful with physiotherapeutic treatment to relax the pelvic floor muscles. Surgery is a last option possibility, but should be avoided until no other remedies remain and a long time, years, have passed.
Good news is that vulvodynia often go away by itself just as mysteriously as it appears. Try a loving approach, maybe some energy-healing and let it be ok to just take a break from sexual activities. Listen to your body!
Erectile dysfunction, libido and sickness
When one has been diagnosed with a serious disease such as diabetes or cancer, the immune system is out of balance and it will in most cases have a negative impact on the sex life as well, unfortunately. On top of that, emotional distress might be a factor that makes it difficult to maintain a healthy sex-life. Certain medications can affect the sexual drive, and make us feel completely void of any lustful feelings.
Most of the energetic resources are used to repair the imbalance in the body. However, it is recommendable to make an active effort to maintain this part of life, and not give it up - studies have shown how people with an active sex life, despite of challenges such as erectile dysfunctions, have a more satisfying life over-all, and this gives more emotional power to overcome the sickness.
It is advisable to speak with ones doctor, about how to treat erectile dysfunction, and to explore if medication such as Viagra can be a good option, or hormone replacement treatments.
This should always be juged by a health professional who knows the whole picture! It is unadvisable to order under-the-counter prescription drugs from unofficial sources, since it can be very dangerous to mix with heart medication, for example.
Tools available to aid with erectile dysfunction:
Cock-ring - adjustable and flexible. It simply helps the penis to maintain the blood, and therefor aiding with the erection. It also exposes the nerve endings, making penis a bit more sensitive to pleasure.
If you want to perform penetration to satisfy your partner, you might consider trying a type of strap-on or a sheath that is placed over the penis, secured around the testicles, and provides a firm natural sensation of an erection.
Vaginal dryness, sex drive and illness
Women can get vaginal dryness as a side-effect from serious illnesses and medications, such as diabetes and cancer. The most effective way to counter-balance this condition is a natural waterbased lubricant (as natural as possible), and possibly an overall look at the hormonal balance of the body. Progesterone treatment can help - but it is crucial to have a holistic approach to the body and its balance, as well as a hard look at all the treatments given, before adding to, or changing anything. Please consult with a health practicioner who you trust to have good judgement and who is knowledgeable. Prioritize having a functioning sex-life, as this will give strength to get through the overall hardship of sickness.
Can a clitoris experience erectile dysfunction?
The short answer is YES - over 40% of women experience at a point in life some problem with blood-flow and arousal of the clitoris. So it is fairly common, despite never being talked about.
Men and women are much more alike anatomically than we are lead to believe - and both male and female sexual responses are moderated by hormone levels, blood flow and healthy tissue, so many of the therapies are efficient for both penis and vagina.
There is a symptom called clitoral atrophy (dysfunction) , defined by the clitoris shrinking and no longer responding to stimulation.
It is typically a result of low hormone levels, reduction of blood-flow and lack of use. In worst case, the clitoris can retract to inside the body, the hood might fuse over it, making it extremely hard to stimulate.
So the absolute best remedy against this, is to stimulate clitoris on a regular basis, even if you are not in the mood! You will quickly get there, and it is good for so many functions in your body and soul. Include clitoris stimulation in your daily or weekly routine, and watch it blossom. Doctors recommendation…
Other treatments might be hormone replacement, vaginal estrogen creme, low dosis testosterone and / or oxytocin supplement.
I have lost my sex-drive. How do I get it back?
It is normal that sexual feelings and desire come and go. We are cyclical creatures, and our mood and desires fluctuate with our hormones, the moon, our life in general, and are dependent on our circumstances.
When you find yourself lacking libido for a longer period of time, have a sober look at your overall state of being. Are you depleted energetically? Are you stressed? Do you have negative factors in your life that you feel are out of your control? If you are in a relationship, do you have some issues that need to be dealt with (emotional, practical)?
If you encounter an imbalance, be honest with yourself. It is impossible to separate your erotic life from the rest of your life. How can you make adjustments, so this particular thing doesn’t drag you and your libido down? When you feel good about yourself, happy in your body and in your relationship (to yourself and/or your partner) then feelings of desire and lust will flow naturally. If you find yourself in a rut, make a conscious effort to change things. Dedicate a portion of your time to yourself and self-love. Prioritise your sex-life. Why wait for the perfect circumstances, in order to be satisfied sexually? Many of us belive that solo-sex is less valid than sex with a loving partner. Or that sex with someone that you just met, and that might not evolve into a serious relationship, is somewhat “cheaper” and possibly shameful. Not true! These are myths that refrain us from getting an empowered and free sexuality.
The overall most important lover in your life is YOU. Treat yourself with respect and kindness, look into what would make you happy, or even just curious sexually. What are your fantasies? Are any of them easy to fulfill, and to make come true? Invite yourself to step a little outside your comfort zone and regular habits. Communicate openly about your desires with your partner. Many of us are too timid about our lusts, thus never owning them, or enjoying them properly. To spark up your flame, watch an erotic movie, or use a toy. Make a hot date with yourself, or partner, and show up, no matter how tired you might be. Put on your sexiest lingerie or costume, and see what happens.
Sexual desire is like any other practice. Devote energy and focus then it will become easy, natural and fun.
And no,there is no need to stress about our feelings. We are all humans with different challenges and needs.
Tools to get back into the mood: